What You Should Stop Doing To Make Your Relationship Work!
All too often, couples become too comfortable in the relationship and with the person that they share it with that they often do things to their partners without realizing the harmful effect that it can have in the relationship.
It is also not common for a relationship to end with one of the partners being clueless to the reasons why the relationship ended.
However, in some cases, the partner is aware that he or she is doing this but thinks that the other partner is okay with it. Here are some things that you might be doing that can lead to the loss of love in your relationship. Stop doing these as early as possible and expect a longer and a more fruitful romantic relationship with the person you love.
1. Talking about your past relationships.
Although some people may tell their partners that they’re okay with their present sweetheart going on and on with their exes, they may one day suddenly shout for him or her to shut up.
The fact is that talking about past relationships with your present lover is not very healthy or constructive. If the partner talking about his or her ex-love is doing so to compare the present partner with the previous ones, then nothing good can come out from it.
It can be very damaging to the relationship too. When you have an on-going relationship, you just have to stop talking and thinking about your ex-loves.
Well, you may think of them but never voice out your thoughts to your present love.
2. Being insecure, paranoid, and clingy.
Most relationships end when one partner becomes insecure and clingy.
To prevent this from happening to you, you should always keep yourself preoccupied with things other than your lover and your relationship. Being thoughtful by sending an SMS asking him if he had eaten lunch is good. However, sending him a text message every 10 minutes asking him what he is doing now can be a sign of insecurity. You partner will feel that he doesn’t have very much freedom as he always needs to report his actions to you.
Another thing to watch out for is being clingy to your partner. Are you sitting in your couch, staring at the clock, just waiting for him to come home? Do you get mad when he is 30 minutes late?
You may also immediately assume that he is cheating on you so you get jealous of all people he interacts with. Tsk, tsk, tsk. If you are doing these things, stop immediately if you want your relationship to last.
The best thing for you to do is to find a hobby or something that you can be busy about. For instance, if you are still studying, then you should focus on your classes and if you are working, then you ought to concentrate on your work. If you are a stay-at-home mom, then you must already have your hands full with the housework and the kids, but if not, then you can start a home business or get involved in online social clubs – anything to keep you from making your partner’s life miserable.
You can also go out with friends, if you can. But if not, then use social networking or invite friends to drop by.
3. Acting like you’re still in the market.
Another bad thing that some people are fond of doing even though they are already in a relationship is to act as if they are still available. This includes flirting with other people or misleading other persons that you are indeed out in the market, even though you are already married or is in a long-term relationship.
Your partner will find out about it at some point and it won’t be a pretty sight.
If your goal is to make this relationship work, then be faithful and be loyal to that one person. Cheating in a relationship just never works. It can also be a sign that you are not satisfied with your present love.
Why else would you cheat? If you are in a relationship and you find yourself cheating or looking for more, then perhaps you are with the wrong person after all.
Why not spare that person some heartache and just break it off? When you cheat, the other party always finds out. It can be sooner or later, but the secret will be out.
In case, a partner cheats and confesses to the other partner about the infidelity, it will only leave the person cheated on more hurt. Being honest about cheating is more hurtful than keeping it a secret. So the bottom line: Don’t cheat at all! If you are cheating now, stop this at once!
Relationships, as they often say, are built on trust. How can you expect a relationship to grow when people involved lie to each other. For instance, a girl may keep secrets about her past and the guy may deny his real financial standing. These can be grounds for breaking up later on.
6. Being emotionally or physically abusive.
I really don’t understand how people can stay in an abusive relationship.
An abusive relationship happens when one or both people in the relationship use hurtful words or physical violence.
In most cases, only one member is the abusive one while the other plays the victim or the recipient of the abuse. Examples of an abusive relationship include calling your partner demeaning terms, beating your girlfriend/boyfriend, making your partner feel insignificant, manipulation, etc.
A healthy relationship should not have any element of abuse whatsoever.
7. Feeling superior and selfish.
Every kind of relationship survives through the simple rule of give and take. If you just take and take but never give, then your relationship cannot last.
You can also give better when you consider yourself and your partner to be equal.
When you are in a relationship, the other person is not better or higher than the other one. They are in the same level since they become a couple- they become one unit. What is yours is hers/his. That should be the rule. So you cannot be selfish by expecting more money, free time, clothing, food, etc. for yourself and less for your partner.
For instance, don’t think that because you are working outside the home, you are excused from taking care of the baby or doing any of the household chores. For married people, it often happens that the person earning the higher salary becomes more superior to the other partner who earns lesser income.
However, this should not be the case. People involved in the relationship must always consider the other one as his/her partner; they are side by side and not looking at the other person as being lower or higher than him/her.
8. Being fake.
The best of relationships grow on honesty and being themselves.
Being fake is tiring as it takes a lot of effort to keep up the act. Stop pretending to be another person, just be yourself and let the other person get to know the real you.
Love yourself, be yourself and let the other person see you as you really are.
For instance, you don’t need to be on guard all the time about what to say to him or what clothes to wear. If he really loves you, then he will accept you for who you are.
9. Neglecting your partner.
Do you still cook for your husband, iron his clothes, and do his laundry? Yes, it may sound primitive but men appreciate women who show them that they care outside the bedroom too. For men, you should always remember important dates that you and your partner value. Prepare small and big gifts to show her that you care. Ignoring your partner’s emotional, physical, and material needs can only lead to the end of your relationship.
10. Being right all the time.
Accept your mistakes.
What do they usually say bout pride? It comes after the fall. So if you don’t want your relationship spiraling downwards, better own up to your faults and be a man (or a woman) about it.
Don’t insist that you are right all time and control your impulse to say, “I told you so.” to your partner when he or she makes a blunder. We are all humans so all of us are capable of being wrong about something.
The best thing to do is to let each partner make their mistakes, learn from it, and grow from it. You can even grow together as a couple from these slip-ups.
11. Withholding sex as a punishment.
No one wins this game really. Both partners lose and this tactic may even push one or both to commit infidelity.
Keeping a romantic relationship is hard work. Both members in the relationship must exert effort to keep the flame burning and at the same time make sure that both people are happy and contented with the set-up. Be sensitive to your partner’s needs and wants and you can avoid most of the mistakes that people often do when in a relationship.